It had been two days since the butterfly came home. I was feeding her, but she seemed quite content in my roses not wanting to fly . I was beginning to think she wouldn’t and maybe my gut feel that Shelly would have a message for me was wrong. Well just as I was beginning to doubt and I was busy fluttering around myself in momma mode she decided it was time.
The kids and I had just gotten home from picking them up after school. I was busy as mommas are, but my friend who had lost her baby had just given me the meal texted. She shared a memory she had with Shelly our friend who passed away tragically a few months earlier. So I slow down and text back about the Butterfly I had and that I felt Shelly’s spirit close by. I shared how I had this feeling that if it flies I think Shelly will give me a message. And, of course right as i text the butterfly starts flying around me in my kitchen and lands on my hand. My youngest daughter Bryn was there and it was one of the Most magical moments I had experienced with a real butterfly. I will never forget feeling the flutter and this warm glow around us. Shelly was a red head as well so to see my daughters red hair glowing in the sunlight and feel the butterfly on my fingertips, it was if she was right there with us in my kitchen. I knew in my gut it was her “energy” coming through, But I had to rush off and leave to take my son to practice so there was no time to figure out if this butterfly really had a message. We hopped in the car and her message came in loud and clear!
I hop in the car and the Puff Daddy Song he wrote for Tupac after he died “” I’ll be missing you” was playing. To be honest I had never heard it , but It starts out “ this goes out to everyone that has lost someone that they truly loved. The Lyrics were undeniable and she did love her hip hop. Honestly the fact that it was playing on one of my stations baffled me but there was no doubt in my mind she some how made it play at that exact time to give me this message . “ It’s kind of hard with you not around, know you in heaven smilin’ down, watching us while we pray. Think’n of the day when you went away. What a life to take, what a bond to break. I’ll be missing you. Life ain’t always what it seems to be. Words cant express what you mean to me. Even though you are gone, we still a team . Through your family , I’ll fulfill your Dream”. (Full Lyrics below)
Driving to Shanes football practice and tears are flowing down with so many emotions flooding in. This swirling of sadness for her kids, but this knowing she is truly up there flying free of her pain and with the power to reach those she loves. I was in a state of shock and awe really with this sense of gratitude she came through with a message. My sensed that evening I brought the butterfly home was right after all. Crazy to me really! I knew though in my gut this song was for her kids so I passed it on. I remember seeing her son in the grocery store two years later. I barely recognized him, but it warmed my heart to know they were all in a better place and they knew their momma was too.
This moment solidified that those we have lost have the power to reach us. After Tom passed he “showed up” about 6 months later with a powerful message that ended up being for his best friend. A story that made us all a believer in how they can some how manipulate time and energy and numbers and animals to send us messages. That story will have to wait however as there were some important ones leading up to that experience. I needed the awareness and faith to try and figure out what it all meant, but I truly believe now that our loved ones can send us messages from above to help us get through being down here. So, I’m here to say don’t be afraid to claim it out loud, trust your feelings or knowing or even just the nudge they are trying to reach you . Then be aware of how they come through. Songs, dreams, times on the clock, numbers you see, people, animals, feathers and rainbows that cross your path are just a few ways they can reach us. It’s always on their time it seems though. I think they see the bigger picture, so be patient and I promise the message they know you need will “show up” when the timing is right.
“I’ll Be Missing you” Lyrics by Puff Daddy.
Yeah, this right here (tell me why)
Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone
That they truly loved (c’mon, check it out)Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin’ on the block for dough
Notorious, they got to know that
Life ain’t always what it seem to be (uh-uh)
Words can’t express what you mean to me
Even though you’re gone, we still a team
Through your family, I’ll fulfill your dream (that’s right)
In the future, can’t wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh)
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it’s real, feelings hard to conceal
Can’t imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living your life, after deathEvery step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you
Thinkin’ of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing youIt’s kinda hard with you not around (yeah)
Know you in Heaven smilin’ down
Watchin’ us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
‘Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where I’ll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can’t define (can’t define)
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the six, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Makin’ hits, stages they receive you on
Still can’t believe you’re gone (can’t believe you’re gone)
Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath)
I know you still living you’re life, after deathEvery step I take, every move I make (ohh, I’ll miss you)
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Thinkin’ of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing youSomebody tell me whyOne black morning
When this life is over
I know
I’ll see your faceEvery night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every day that passes (every step I take)
Is a day that I get closer (every move I make)
To seeing you again (every single day)
We miss you B.I.G. (every night I pray)
And we won’t stop (every step I take)
‘Cause we can’t stop (every move I make)
That’s right (every single day)
Every night I pray (we miss you)
Every step I take (we miss you)
Every move I make (we miss you)
We miss you B.I.G. (we miss you)
Every single day Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I’ll miss you)
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Thinkin’ of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing youEvery step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you (I’ll be missing you)
Thinkin’ of the day (thinking of the day), when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing youEvery step I take, every move I make (one black morning)
(When this life is over)
Every single day, every time I pray (I know)
I’ll be missing you (I’ll see your face)
Thinkin’ of the day, when you went away (one black morning)
(When this life is over)